I am a server.
I do not have a preferred nomenclature. A preferred nomenclature is for people who are affected by others' perceptions of them. Listen, you don't wait tables for ten years without developing a thick skin. Besides, we are a crucial part of the pecking order - we are the Greek chorus.
We are the eyes and ears. We observe human behavior in the dark crannies sociologists will never be privy to.
I work in finer dining. I think it's critical to distinguish this from, say, coffeeshops and gaudy chain restaurants, because the expectations and behavior of the guests varies wildly. Compared to the heavy- hitting fine dining of celebrity chef hoo-haw places, mine is pretty casual. Thus the finer dining.
I am working on a graphic novel about waitressing with my friend Chantal Defelice. She is amazing. This is a place for me to organize waitressing stories and rant. Enjoy.