The Week in Wankers

Best quotes of the week:

"I'll have a pee-no griggy-oh"

"So duck egg creme caramel.... is that, like, a Cadbury creme egg?"

"Duck egg? DUCK egg? Like from a real live duck?"

"Where do you get duck eggs?" (My response of course: a duck. His wife then explained to him that ducks also lay eggs)

"I like salt on my fries." (This was how she asked me for some salt, after tasting her pommes frites)

(When asked if they wanted help finding something on the wine list) "I don't think so. I know these wines. Last time I was here I had a Chateau something. It was French. It was red."

"So is that like, a cab sauv?" (After I described the Chateauneuf du Pape)

"We're big foodies, so we don't need help. Can you heat up this iced tea?"

(Upon informing a mean old lady who insisted she was twice my age "and then some" that she's not that much older than I, according to her driver's license) "Oh, you can read."