Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Week in Wankers: The Big 'Un

We got this crazy email from a customer complaining that he bought the special advertised by the server and was upset by the price when the bill showed up.

Let me break it down for you: he had classic sticker-shock and, instead of being angry with himself for not asking how much the special cost before ordering it (a dinner of filet mignon topped with foie gras - something most people living above ground and not breathing in toxic, brain-melting chemicals might consider a red flag for expense), he took it out on his server, complaining that they ought to have told the price up front.

I have never, in any city, - whether at an awful chain restaurant or an upmarket fine dining establishment - had the price of the special(s) offered to me without asking for it. It's considered rude and indelicate to discuss such matters without invitation, as if you're implying that the diner cannot afford it. If they need to know, they will ask. No one buys a fucking Range Rover without knowing the price; no one plucks shirts and jeans and shoes off of shelves without checking (okay plenty of wealthy people do, but fuck 'em anyway); so why buy a dinner - something you can't return, and one that includes two traditionally pricey components - without asking the price, if you think that price will be an issue for you?


Personal responsibility. This guy probably goes home and moans and cries about having to pay taxes so poor people can get the bare minimum of medical care or food stamps for their kids, all the while blubbering that they should take "personal responsibility".

Then he comes to a nice restaurant, orders filet mignon with foie gras, and bitches about it costing $4-6 more than the average filet mignon - sans fattened goose liver - at any steakhouse in town.

And for that we have to change our policy and do what even Chili's doesn't do, and announce the price right at the table. Why stop there? I'm going to make customers guess the price and if they win, I'll throw in some extra bread. Maybe throw 'em, a ticker-tape parade. And wear flair.

Thanks, tacky asshole. Good luck with those three spirits next Christmas.

9 comments:

  1. Just wanted to let you know that I read all of your blog posts in one sitting and I'm so glad I found your blog today. I LOVE your writing! So funny...

    Are you still planning on writing that graphic novel that you talked about in your early posts?

    Also, I think I might have a slight suspicion about where you work based on one of the dishes you described...but I could be wrong.

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  2. Thanks so much, Nicole - I think that brings my number of readers up to 4 (although my dad has stopped because he says I cuss too much).

    I don't do the best job of hiding where I work, but I'm going to ride the discretion train as long as I can until it derails horribly.

    Enjoy the show!

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  3. seriously you have changed your policy on that because of a singular complaint?! it makes me want to fly back there, dine, and complain in person that the server told me the price of the specials! i have only dined in one restaurant where the specials were announced by the server (who knows where--claim jumper perhaps?) and i remember thinking how odd and ill-fitting it was. at any rate, good luck! :)

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  4. "This guy probably goes home and moans and cries about having to pay taxes so poor people can get the bare minimum of medical care or food stamps for their kids, all the while blubbering that they should take "personal responsibility"." That's quite an elaborate assumption. What is it based on? Did something else happen during the meal which would cause you to assume this, (and if so, why didn't you mention it?) or are you just employing a stereotype here?

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  5. Neither. Jesus told me to say it.

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  6. Same thing happened to me with a woman who'd ordered king crab legs. She said that we should change our policy (and name the price at the table). My manager laughed. Shame your managment is willing to hand the wheel over to the loudest idiot.
    I can't understand why they installed this policy. Is there no way to challenge that decision? If you were at a chain, I could imangine a corporate stucture that would make that difficult (I served 3 months at PF Chang's before vowing to never again work a chain). But your blog suggests you are not at a chain. Did this person have the owner's personal email or something? Whatever the case, someone needs to veto that call.
    That said, I think I'm with Dan. The tax rant kind of came out of left field.

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  7. Hogan: My owner/chef is a terminally nice guy. My condolences on having worked at PF Chang's - or any other corporate chain restaurant.

    The tax rant is not at all out of left field (not that there's anything wrong with left field, which is where many artistically or scientifically significant associations are made, the constricting limits of what is socially considered "sound" logic having been removed).

    This is more or less a blog about people and society as revealed through diners' behavior at restaurants.

    Curious that no one is complaining about the several other ranted assumptions I have made since starting this blog. Hit a nerve, did I?

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  8. It totally makes sense that Jesus told you to say that being as he was a socialist and all.

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  9. Hahaha! I'm not entirely sure why the tax rant hit such a nerve. Welcome to social commentary and the 1st Amendment. I think when an individual engages in certain doucheoise (like the bourgeoise, only douchier) behavior, that person then opens themselves up to certain societal assumptions. In this case, the douchebag in question, I think rightly so, opened himself up to the assumption that he is probably a brainless hypocrite.

    Otherwise, yea, that's a pretty classless policy. Seriously, I wish your owner/chef would stand up to the man! Don't give in! His place is better than that!!!

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