Thursday, July 29, 2010

From Cosmo to Chablis in 60 seconds

"I'll have a cosmo," said the woman I waited on last night. We only have a beer and wine list, and I told her so.
"If you were in the mood for a cosmo, I'd suggest one of our rosés. We have several by the glass, and some have this great red fruitiness that--"
"NO," she waved her hands around. "I don't want sweet." Said the woman who asked for a cosmo.

I explained that rosés aren't sweet, that she's thinking of spending her teenage years parked outside a DQ with a 40-oz. styro of Boone's Farm warming up on the dashboard. Well, I didn't say so in as many words.


I brought her a taste anyway, of Chateau d'Oupia, a wonderful Languedoc rosé with a coy strawberry smile and creamy little tongue. A whisper of granite on the finish gives it elegance and beauty, keeps it from being too slutty.

"Nah," said the woman. "I think I'll just have this Chablis." A Chablis that's like licking an oyster shell dipped in lime juice.

You know, I give up listening to people tell me what the fuck they want. They don't even know.


  1. P.S. A cosmo??
    1.) Did I find a frigging time machine back to 1999?
    2.) Can I undo getting my BA in Theater?

  2. For that matter, who has cocktails with dinner, anymore? I thought liquor was mostly for frat parties, networking events, bar-hopping/clubbing in general, and the occasional after-dinner drink.

  3. Right? Mmmm. Nothing goes with these oysters and lamb's tongue like a cosmo! Or a dram of Dimetapp.