"My friend ordered three dishes. I don't speak Chinese, so I don't know their exact names, but I have approximated them below:
1. Chicken Buried in a Giant Mountain of Red Peppers that is Really Goddamn Hot
2. Fish Fillet Swimming in a Giant Pool of Spicy Chili Oil that is Really Goddamn Hot
3. Ma Po Tofu (You DO speaka Chinese! -ed.) Swimming in a Giant Pool of Spicy Chili Oil that is Really Goddamn Hot"
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Makes You Want To Shove Razors In Your Eyes