People Love themselves on Yelp, volume 1

In the sort of turn of events that makes gods and Russians laugh, I, who am famous in my small world for despising Yelpers and belittling them at every possible opportunity, now must routinely peruse their banal dribble as part of my non-serving job. To try and leech some of the cancer-causing bile my blood is accumulating over having to read screechingly moronic and wrong information, advice, and opining, here is a new series I've named after a t-shirt I desperately wanted to make (we've all been there):
People Love themselves on Yelp

Today's batch needs little in the way of my own commentary. It's sheer poetry
(rampant and psychotic misuse of English language kept as is):

• There is nothing worse than a server saying "let me go check with the kitchen." That is absurd their job is to know what they are serving...
  

• I am a complete foodie
  

• There was an Indian couple sitting next to me (or close enough, right? -emc)

• As a French onion soup connoisseur I found sadly that Serrato's soup was so salty it just plain sucked.
  

• I'm from LA so I know good sushi from OK sushi.

• I think my real problem is that coming from Hawaii I'd eaten so much amazing sushi that it's hard to be impressed.

• Being from L.A. and having visited Japan, my standards are pretty high, but this place, is pretty much disappointing.

• We've been to many of the best sushi restaurants in New York City, including Nobu, so...
  

• Num-yummy!

That's all the time I have today. Join us next time for more b.s.-spewing on People Love themselves on Yelp, volume 2.